Squeezing Them In

Recently I have been squeezing them in. A quick surf before work. Racing down the road to get it before dark. Getting a quick hour before the wind turns. Having a surf as part of your day just makes the whole day better. I am calmer, my outlook brighter, the earth feels warmer under my feet.

But it feels like only dipping my feet in.

It’s been a while since I've had a full surf day. I want to jump head first in and be soaked in it. 

I want to see the sunrise and get in before the masses. I want to feel the race of my heartbeat as I paddle back out after a good one. I want to sit on the hill with nothing else to do but watch the reef and wait for the tide to turn. I want to stare aimlessly at the horizon as waves pass through, waiting for the one that draws, rises and falls in the perfect form.

After a good full day of surf, I often find myself taking  a moment and thinking “this’ll do.” I love feeling like this. 

But I don’t always feel like this. And I’m grateful for the ocean for being a place that can give me this feeling. Mental health is hard. People crave simple answers to it. Take this, talk to this person, do this. The reality is that it’s messy, irrational and unfair. I often know the things I should be doing to feel better, but the act of doing them feels insurmountable. The best thing to do is look outward, talk to people and share. I know this, but it can be hard. 

I also think you have to look inward. For me, the ocean is my place to do that, and getting a wetsuit on…that is easy. I don’t forget about my worries when I am in the ocean, but they don’t torment me and scare me as much as they do on dry land. I feel more able to deal with them. I am stronger. My head held higher. As I am tumbled by the violence of the cold north sea I find stillness, and suddenly, I am a bit more capable than I was before.  

Try to remember this next time you consider being a dickhead to someone in the water. You don’t know how special that time could be for them. Don’t let your ego, narcissism, ignorance, entitlement and self righteousness get in the way. People make mistakes. Get over it. Give them a smile :)